Processing the Change

I’ve always liked change. Some are easier than others, but I’ve always – for the most part – enjoyed them.

I moved a few times in my life and I’ve always liked having a new space to arrange things in. And then I usually re-arrange it all in a few months.

Speaking of which, I should move stuff around in my office,. It’s becoming boring...

I assume this is the main reason I’m good with change.

But lately, I’m having a hard time processing and accepting/acknowledging the changes that are happening in my life. For example, Dave and I have been married for 4 and a half months now and it’s STILL NOT REAL to me.

Another example, we’ve started the whole home search/purchase process. What? I’m going to own a home one day? And that day will probably be sometime in 2016? Nope…not real.

I’m sure there are countless more moments that I’ll feel the same way about, I just have a hard time processing these changes and believing they’re true. Not in the sense that I’m going to wake up one morning and NOT be married or anything like that, but in the sense of “this is the life I wanted, it’s real, and I love it”.

As I sat in disbelief that my life is what it is, my good friend Danielle, from Dinner with the Hackleys made a great observation:

Sometimes how we process things seems like we’re not at all, but in reality it’s just our hearts taking time. Maybe it’s our heart’s way of savoring these moments.

So savor away, dear heart, and don’t discount anything. For one day, we’ll look back on these days with fondness, love, and joy. Until then, I’ll be sitting here, waiting to wake up in my reality.

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