Why I Hate Being Single

Contrary to popular belief, being alone is not the main reason I don’t like being single.

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In fact, sometimes I enjoy my alone time very much. It’s nice not having to answer anyone and being able to travel at will without disturbing anyone else’s routine.

But there are 4 main reasons I HATE being single.

1. Being set up/blind dates

This never ends well for me. Most of the time, when a friend of mine has tried to set me up with a friend of theirs it was because they wanted to get him off their back.

For example, one guy I went on a few dates with (at the suggestion of a friend of mine) thought everything was AWESOME!! And there was always a bunch of exclamation points at the end of everything!!! Awesome!! ALL THE TIME!!! Text? YUP!! IM? YUP!! Email? YUP!! Even in person! Kinda annoying, right!???!!! I’m sorry, but no one is THAT excited about life.

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Me: Why did you set me up with this guy?

Her: Well, the only red flag was that he’s a Red Sox fan…and I figured that was a green flag for you.

Me: But did ya notice how excited he is all the time?

Her: Yeah…that was annoying. That’s why I didn’t want to date him.

Me: Oh! So you toss him at me. How kind of you!

I did feel kinda bad letting him go without someone to send him to, but I wanted to keep my friends. So I cut him loose and went on my way.

2. Online Dating

Oh my gosh. Guys. It’s a whole new world. And not the Aladdin kind – it’s a scary one. Do you remember that show Next on MTV?

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That’s kind of what it felt like. I had to take all emotion out of it because otherwise I just felt bad going out to dinner and then never speaking to them again. I did get a couple friends out of it though, so it wasn’t a total loss.

Also, as a side note, I found crazier people on ChristianMingle.com than I did on Match.com…just sayin.

3. The pickup lines

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Ugh! The pickup lines! I must say, I’ve heard some hilarious ones. I actually had someone use “do you come here often” on me! The best part was that it was a guy I had a HUGE crush on in 6th grade and at this point we were in high school and I hadn’t seen him in a few years, and he still looked pretty good. But once that came out of his mouth? Ha! I couldn’t take him seriously.

One time fairly recently I had 2 little kids decide I was their new best friend (this is nothing new, I’m a kid-magnet, probably because they realize I’m just a giant version of them). I asked what their names were and their dad answered. And then he looked at the little boy and said “Yeah, we’re looking for a step-mommy, huh?”

Uh….what? How do I respond to that? …I didn’t. I ignored it. Like it didn’t happen.

I’ve gotten “a good lookin young lady like yourself got to have a bf” (direct quote) and “Thats a “If you lived closer I would take you on a date” kinda picture.” and “I feel like the Lord wants us to be together”.

The one that had the most potential though was a direct marriage proposal after quoting Van Wilder. To be honest, had I been in a place where being picked up was an option, this very well may have worked.

At least they’re amusing…after the fact.

4. Suggestions from well-meaning friends

I feel kinda bad putting this in here, but it’s 100% true. If you want to set me up with someone make it seem like you don’t. How do you do that? Here’s a suggestion: invite a handful of people over and see if anything happens organically. Because I can promise you, the second you say “hey, so check out my friend. He’s kinda cute. Right?” I’m gonna go insta-awkward on you.

I’ve had this happen, I couldn’t be in the same room as the guy and wasn’t acting like myself at all. Not exactly how I’m going to bag a husband.

Here’s my other gripe with this. I’M THE GIRL!! Meaning, I’m supposed to be pursued, not do the pursuing. So if you think I should date someone, talk to them, not me. Because I’m not going to do anything about it. My brain will though. It’ll go through all sorts of scenarios which, inevitably, will probably never happen and I’ll wind up being distracted and a bit depressed at the end of it all. I’m speaking from experience here.

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Now, I realize that all of these things happen because people (including myself) don’t think I should be single for the rest of my life. And I appreciate it, I really do. But sometimes being single is wicked stressful. And I realize that being in a relationship will bring on it’s own set of problems and stressors, but these will be gone. And for that, I’ll be thankful.

 

Are you single? Is there anything you would add to this list?

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2 thoughts on “Why I Hate Being Single

  1. When I was not quite 17 my brother in law decided to have a young high school intern that he had working in his office at IBM call me for a date. Now, I am small (never made it past 4’11 3/4). When Patrick arrived to pick me up I looked at him and declared something like:”Oh my we can almost see eye to eye”–he was 18 and 5’4″. We did go to a movie but then he brought me straight home and I never heard from him again !!

  2. Pingback: 11 Reasons My Life is a Chick Flick | Jessica In Real Life

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