“Surviving” Valentines Day

First of all, why do we single people feel that we need to “survive” this day? Why is it so awful? Girls walk around wearing black instead of red, they mope, they get angry when they see happy couples walking around hand-in-hand being all lovey-dovey with each other, and don’t even get me STARTED on how they react to the social media posts. Even if they don’t put it out there, they hate every single one of those “happy valentines day baby! i love you!”s.

Valentine’s Day is like salmon to me. I WANT to like it, I really do! But every time I try I’m disappointed.

Maybe it’s because of Hollywood with their movies like The Notebook. Everyone wants a love like Noah and Allie, right? I mean, look at these two! They’re adorable!

Image

But is this reality? Does this kind of love really exist? I once asked a guy I was dating if he thought this kind of love was real and if it was out there. He said yes. He was confident. Me on the other hand? My response was “I sure hope so, because if it doesn’t, I don’t know what the heck I’m doing.”

As much as I enjoy a good chick flick, since I am, in fact, a “chick”, they just really piss me off sometimes. I can’t watch them and think “this could happen to me” because when you get down to it, I just don’t think it will. At least not like Hollywood portrays it.

It’s not only Hollywood that has me cynical towards love and Valentine’s Day though. So without further ado, here are a few reasons why I don’t like this day:

1. I was never popular as a kid nor did I have the highest self-esteem (I don’t these days either, but I’ve always been able to hide it well). All those cards you get as a kid with the candy attached to it? I was always convinced that most people only gave them to me because their mom or dad said they had to get one for everyone in the class. Don’t get me wrong, I had my little group of friends and I knew they liked me and put an effort into picking out the best card for me, and I did the same for them, I was just very skeptical of the rest of the cards in my little mailbox on my desk.

2. One guy I dated, who will remain nameless because this is public (I’m really trying to be good here guys and not offend anyone, one day this will end, enjoy it while you can), HATED Valentine’s Day and EVERYTHING about it. Most guys I’ve dated have, actually. Why do I always find the angry ones? Ha! That’s a post for another time. MOVING ALONG! This guy would complain leading up to the day about how much it sucked and how it was a hallmark holiday and how he was required to buy me expensive roses even though I REPEATEDLY told him throughout the year that I’m not a huge fan of roses and that I prefer tulips or lilies. So he would buy me the roses and complain about it, and I would accept them graciously (because what girl doesn’t like flowers), but they never made me feel loved. They made me feel like I was a hassle and a nuisance. Guys, if you’re reading this and you feel this way about today PLEASE for the love of all females out there don’t make them feel like this. It doesn’t end well, I promise.

3. There have been a few times over the years (and more so these last 5) that I couldn’t really tell you if I was dating someone on February 14th or not. There was never a title, never a commitment. And people, this just makes it awkward for EVERYONE! There was one time that the guy liked me way more than I liked him but for the majority it’s been the other way around. And for the person who’s heart isn’t in it, that dinner/day/whatever becomes 24hrs of awkward stress. Do we go out to dinner? Do we acknowledge the day? Do we even talk? Maybe I should ignore them. Do I get them something? What if the gift is too much? What if it’s not enough? What if we do go out to dinner? What do I wear? Ok, girls probably are the only ones who worry about that last thing, but still! Any other day it wouldn’t matter at all. But because of the gravity of Valentine’s Day you feel obligated to define what you have with that person.

4. I really don’t need any more chocolate. Everyone has to have limits.

***

Now, just so you don’t think I’m too cynical towards love, because I’m really trying to be good here and not let myself get into the “Singles Awareness Day” funk that I feel knocking on my door, there are some things that I enjoy and have enjoyed about this day.

1. I ALWAYS get a card from my grandmother with $1 in it. I can always count on Rose to remember me (even if she gets my birthday wrong).

2. After I graduated from high school I started dating my friend’s brother, Justin. (I’ll use his name because this is something GOOD haha) We were on and off for two years, but to this day he still holds the trophy for the best Valentine’s Day card in my book, and I still have it too! The front has a picture of a dog and it says “I like you so much…” and then you open it to see the dog’s tail wagging like crazy and it says “…my tail might fall right off my butt!” hahaha! And bonus points: he took the time to write more than his name on the inside! I don’t remember what he wrote exactly, but I know it was something sweet. He always did a good job at making me feel like I mattered.

3. Today I got a text from my dad wishing me a Happy Valentine’s Day and telling me that he loves me. 🙂

4. I’ve been told I need to make sure I’m at church on Sunday because one of my goddaughter’s has something for me. I love when they give me stuff because there’s always so much thought and love behind it. Their parents are doing a great job raising those 3.

5. It’s an excuse for me to get more chocolate….but the next day, when it’s 50% off…because I really don’t have limits with chocolate. Who was I kidding?

But seriously guys, why do we need a day to remind us to tell people that we love them? Shouldn’t we be doing that every day? Shouldn’t we always love on people? Yes, it’s nice to have a day dedicated to love, but I think society puts too much weight on it. Maybe that’s just me being cynical and if I had someone to share today with that actually loved me I’d feel differently, but it’s my thoughts.

So with that, I’m going to eat my pizza that’s finally done and pass the crap out because I just had a ridiculously long week. But I’ll write about that tomorrow.

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One thought on ““Surviving” Valentines Day

  1. I know Valentine’s Day is tough for lots of people. I don’t mind Valentine’s Day. It may be because I’m not interested in a relationship. I did my time and am very happily single. Yesterday I took my son to dinner for Valentine’s Day and did my best to make his day special. He’s in his 30’s and not in a relationship at the current time. We had a fabulous time.

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